Hey Newgrounds. I know I've have a tendency to delete my blogs, which I'm regretful of, but I just want to take the time to vent for a bit. I know nobody will ever take the time to read this, and I barely use Newgrounds for much anyways, so I suppose there's no harm in doing so.

Recently, my routine has been gradually working on the storyboards for the Violet mod. Things have been quiet in terms of team communication due to how long it's going to take before I can hand the animations to the programmer. I do wish I could give him something to do, but I just don't have anything at the moment.

While draw out the storyboards, I always have this terrible feeling in my head. Like, there's something wrong with me, even if it's nothing at all. Like how I was told I'm very creative and that I shouldn't be making my OC's like Hobbes and Ivan to fit in with FNF, that I should just be original. Maybe I should just start over despite a WHOLE YEAR's worth of work I've done. But at that point, I just wouldn't care about it anymore, because that's not really fun to me. Though let's be honest, this mod has made me more and more depressed as time goes on.

There are times I do feel this mod was a mistake to start, whether because I was overwhelmed at the time, or because how things are now. There are times where I do want to cancel this whole thing, but I would also be heartbroken if I did. I've had to bite my tongue to keep people from thinking it was cancelled. At this point, I feel I need to finish this to prove myself rather then do something I'm genuinely passionate over. My passion for this mod has kinda died off because of personal matters recently.

Maybe I just need to take a break from the mod, and come back to it when I'm ready? But if I do that, I'll probably lose my coder, and I'll have to find another one when I come back. I just don't know if I can do that to myself. I've already lost 2 coders, first of which was just going through hard times. Maybe if I explain the situation, it won't be as much of a hit.

We'll see...hopefully...

This has been Blubot, saying I'm dying. See you next time.

I deleted all of my old logs out of guilt.

I'm still working on the Violet mod which now only needs cutscenes, but things have been difficult recently.

While I can't say exactly what it is that happened as things have already been handled privately, all I can say is that I lost my second coder (bbpanzu) around late February because of said drama. It was nothing towards him though, and our relationship is still solid. I was able to get a new coder though and bb gave him everything that he worked on. He's a really great coder and can do hard coding which is awesome! But right now, cutscenes are the most important right now.

I'm gonna see if I can make these cutscenes similar to how SMBZ worked, where it used text boxes but was still animated. The mod has also been set back to be sometime after FNF's BIG update in 4-30-22.

Aside from that, I'm mostly gonna be animating this by myself it seems.

Here's some Storyboards!

Anyways, I'm sorry for making you guys worry. I didn't think you guys would care, but it looks like you do.

Also, I love you Sock. I hope you are feeling better and I'm sorry...